Tali in Toronto

Indulgence Part 2

So...it is officially over. The dude came over and told me he doesn't think we should see eachother anymore. It was a terrible moment but one that I handled without tears and one that I think he handled lke a champ. I really apprecated that he came over and told me all these things to my face. That kind of honesty is rare and I really respected him for taking that step.
But wow...that felt horrible. More than horrible. I'm not angry at him. Not even a little. He was honest and up front and was saying all the right things. He isn't ready for a relationshp and doesn't want one right now. He knew that inevitably we would come to a point where it had to evolve to something more and thought it was better to call this off now before things went any further. It was really sad. I don't doubt that he likes me. I know he does. At the very least he cared enough to come and talk to me.
I had told him was bothered by the fact that he didn't call. That played a big part in what happened. It is hard for me to not blame myself for things coming to an end. If only I hadn't said anything....sounds good in theory but I guess eventually this conversaton would have happened. It makes my stomach turn to think about it.
It makes me sad on a lot of levels..but I guess the most important once being that I genuinely enjoyed spending time with him. And he was so easy to be around and comfortable to be with. Being around him made me feel good about myself. I'll definitely miss hanging out wth him. I just hope that when or if he ever changed his mind, he still has my number.
So that's it. I got the situation sorted out. It wasn't exactly what I wanted and it wasn't the outcome I hoped for. But, if I allow myself one second to believe in a higher power, I guess then I can believe that everything happens for a reason and hopefully there is a good one for this.
Ok, I'm going to go indulge in a little sadness so I can wake up tomorrow and be ok.

posted by TF @ 8:25 PM