Frustrated
Inevitably, we all meet people in our life who have the weird ability to make us feel uncomfortable in our own skin. Or question who we are.
Recently, I have been speaking with someone I met on lavalife. SOmethign about the way he reacts to me and the way he reacts to other people, makes me so on edge, I don't know how to deal with it. I haven't even met him in person and I perpetually feel like I'm always saying the wrong thing. And what bothers me most is not even that he thinks that about me - although i hate it - but that it actually REALLY bothers me. What am I so concerned with what a stranger thinks? Why does it bother me? Is it an ego thing? I don't know this guy, his opinion of me won't impact my life. but it bugs me. I have to fight any instinct to prove that I'm cool. It is so weird and twisted.
Ugh, I'm frustrated with myself right now. Annoyed with my reaction.
*sigh*
I feel like i Just want to hang out with a comfortable friend tonight and relax and I don't have that anywhere I turn. Not that I am afraid of spending time alone, I guess I just need a friend and I hate these moments when I need that and just don't have it.
Maybe it is just a reminder that, when it comes down to those tough moments, ultimately the only person we have is ourselves.
posted by TF @ 2:11 PM
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