Tali in Toronto

the ranting and ravings of an overtired lunatic

Happy Monday everyone. The start to a whole new week. My alarm went off this morning and I think I snoozed for about 25 minutes before I realized I had to get up. I think I need one of those cartoon clocks where the alarm is an arm reaching out of the clocking and hitting me over the head with a hammer. Either that or I need to start going to bed at nine to catch up.
Nothing exciting to talk about since yesterday. I spent the day at home doing nothing. Played on lavalife. Chatting with a guy from the intimate encounters section who was disappointed to find out that I think it is funny to look but I had no desire to pursue. Nothing nicer then being called boring by a stranger.
I wonder about people in this intimate encounters section. How many people are actually on it just looking for some action and how many are there our of curiosity and how many are trying to catch someone doing something they aren't supposed to....they need to take a survey to satisfy my need for answers. It is all about me folks.
I changed my lavalife blurb to REALLY reflect who I am. I am sure i will never get a message from anyone again. They will take one look at that and be all..OMG! NO WAY! My friend MB swears that I sound delightful but it will take a special guy to read that and find me appealing. Someone who is really looking for something that is a little different from the typical girly-girls out there. I feel those are few and far between.
I feel like I am in this weird middle-ground..happy to be single but missing the comfort of a relationship. Does that make sense? I'm not unhappily alone. I'm ok not being involved. But there are days where i miss the feeling of just having someone. A warm body to cuddle with...someone to have around on quiet nights...the comfortable stuff I miss. Then again, I look back and don't remember when I had that last. I had it in my last relationship but I wasn't in a place to appreciate it and then before that..it's been years. Years and years and years.
Ok, I'm doing the sweep right now. All the friends who make me feel crappy or who aren't good friends or who I don't speak to...gone. Deleted from the list! I just got the usual "I'm in a mood therefore I'm shutting you out" from MC. And i get SO angry when I see that. Angry at him but mostly angry at myself because i keep falling for his stupidity and opening myself up to talking to him. ARGH! I'm so unbelievable naive and gullible sometimes. It KILLS me. I know I've said it a million times. But this time it sticks. I'm making it public so I have to stick to it. NO MORE!
How does everyone else deal with it? I need some advice. Tell me. WHat is the best way to delete someone from your life. Despite any feelings you have for them?
Ok. I'm off to work work work and work.

posted by TF @ 7:36 AM