Tali in Toronto

Monday

Hello everyone and for my jewish friends...HAPPY PASSOVER! Sick of matzoh yet?
Nothing to report. I spent the weekend in Montreal and it was SO nice to see everyone. It is hard not to....how do I describe it...glorify Montreal after I go to visit. I have to remember that I wasn't always so thrilled when I live there. But when I got home for the weekends I feel so surrounded by people i love. It is such a nice feeling. Even just being at home with the family. I miss that. It is the one thing i am missing in Toronto. That feeling where I can just go to a safe place and not have to be on...not have to smile and be happy or see a silver lining..I can just veg out and that is cool. I enjoy Toronto, but i still haven't quite found my niche here and i think sometimes that leaves me feeling a little lonely. And it isn't that lonely that I can fix by calling afriend..it is that lonely that comes with a transition, when you are still figuring out your place. All part of the big adventure.
So, a recent significant other of mine...who I was dating when I moved here to Toronto, has a new girlfriend. And though I knew it wasn't the right relationship for me and i have no regrets..hearing it made me sad. I guess sthere was some secret place inside where I felt like I could always call him back if I changed my mind. I never would have. But it was nice to have that. I don't know. After all the crappy dates I've been on since I've moved and the people I've met who were not great..it is hard to look at it and not wonder if i made a mistake. Logically I know i didn't...but there is still that tug at teh heartstrings response. That moment of panic.
Tonight I'm going out for a little sushi. YAY! And a little movie watching. That goodness for MB otherwise i Would be sitting home tonight itching to get out and be busy.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not in a bad mood...more...pensive. I'm not upset or sad...just...reminded of how nice it feels when you get to a point where someplace really becomes home. I know I will get there with Toronto also. It just takes time.
I'm glad it is summer here though. I could use some sunny weekends!

posted by TF @ 11:03 AM