Tali in Toronto

Hurting.

I'm very very sad.
That is all I can say.
I can go into details. But I don't want to right now.
I don't want to talk.
I'm tired of talking.
I'm tired of believing.
I'm tired of trying.
I'm tired of always doing the wrong thing.
I'm tired of always being the wrong person.
I'm tired of hurting people I care about.
I'm tired of falling in love and believing that means something.
I'm tired.
I'm so tired.
And I wish I could change. I wish I could be someone who didn't care. I wish.
But I can't.
I can't be something I'm not.
This is who I am. This vulnerable, naive girl who wants so much to believe in something.


I'm really hurting right now. I just want to sleep.
For days and months and years.
I just want someone to show me my life and tell me there is a happy ending.
Tell me that somewhere down the road this will be worth something.
Tell me one day I won't cry so hard.
Tell me one day I won't feel so empty.
Tell me one day someone will say they love me and mean it. Fight for me. Mean everything they say.
Tell me I will find something that is real.

I'll get through this. I know I will. It will hurt me. For a long long time. And i miss him already. But I can't make someone stay in my life who dones't want to be there. Who doesn't want to be with me.

One day I hope I will find someone who will look at me and want to take a risk. I need to believe that that person is out there. I need to know this wasn't for nothing. I'm so afraid that there is no happy ending.

I'm gonna go cry now. Long and hard.

posted by TF @ 3:56 PM