Tali in Toronto

Total lack of continuity

One of the things I fell in love with most when I moved into this apartment was the view. I am lucky enough to be facing east. So when I look out my window, I see trees. And now that it is fall, I see the leaves changing color and I love it. Don't get me wrong, I see buildings too. Buildings surrounded by yellow, red, green...all of it. I would love right now to be somewhere surrounded by greenery. I don't know why I have craved and desired that so much lately. But I do.
The amazing thing about my view is that I often get to see the moon, in all it's shining glory. But when the moon is at it's brightest, it reminds me how small we are. I used to think that I wished I was smarter so I could have grown up to be an astronaut (science was never my thing) but then I think back to those pictures you see of the moon and it looks so desolate and sad and empty. Which then leads me (stay with me here, you are going on the wild ride that is Tali's thought processes) to wonder how this world came to be. We look around and see so much development. So much progress. But at the same time people think we are the only planet with life. I don't know how to explain it. It makes me feel SO small. Why are we the only lucky planet to have all this? It can't be.

I'm not a believer in fate. Not openly. Only in that secret place that I don't talk about. That secret hopeless romantic that lives behind the cynic in my brain. Sometimes things happen though that make me wonder if something doesn't push you in the direction you are supposed to go in. Push you in the direction of someone who makes you feel things you had forgotten you felt. Say things you thought you would never say again. Talk about things you never thought you would talk about with anyone. Do things you never thought you would be brave enough to do. So when fate, if that is what it is, opens that door for you, I say walk through and never look back. No matter how great the risk or how big the effort or how scary the possibilities. Do it.
Jump in head first and take advantage of every glorious second. Live every moment. Make the very best of it. Don't think about it. Just feel it. That's what I am doing. And I know exactly what may happen. And I can't wait.

When are we running away? I'm waiting for you.

posted by TF @ 6:54 PM