Tali in Toronto

Done and Done

For the week that is.

The thing I hate most in life is not being able to be there for someone when you really really want to (which sounds totally selfish). It kills me. I find it physically painful and enough to make me want to step on a plane and go to wherever it may be just so I can give someone a hug and hold their hand when they need me. It is so hard. Granted, not as hard as whatever that person is going through. I guess this is what it is like to be a parent. To watch your kids go through things and not be able to help them or fix it or take their pain away. Don't you wish it was as easy it was when we were little? Just have someone kiss it better?
As we get older, pain because significantly more..well..painful. You fall harder, cuts are deeper, hearts break harder, and anger paralyzes you for longer. You would think that it would numb from experience. But I find it is quite the opposite. When we are young, we are fearless. Not afraid to fall and not afraid to take crazy leaps of faith. We just get more fragile as we age. Not a very pretty picture isn't it. I wonder if it works the same way with the good stuff. Does everything better as we get older? Or are we numb to the good stuff and suffering through the bad?
I don't know.

All I do know, if i hope that all of my friends realize that I will always be there whenever they need me. And if I can, I will always step on a plane for them..or keep my phone on all night...or do whatever i can to be around when they need me. My door is always open - literally and figuratively. I'm here.

I'm going home. No warm fuzzy moment today. It seems like the kind of day where jsut appreciating all I've got is enough warm fuzzy for me.

posted by TF @ 2:13 PM