Follow-up
*sigh*
Talking to MB is alway a pleasure. He is so pretective of me and often helps me put things in perspective. He is trying so hard to make me see that I did nothing wrong except attempt to protect myself. And if the person on the other side of these emails cared about me and genuinely wanted me in his life, he would be willing to talk and listen and fix this now. There is some truth in that. I can't fight against an immoveable wall. And if he isn't open to talking to me then there is nothing I can do but appreciate what it was and be ok that it is no more.
I'm not going to lie. I'm not ok that it is no more. I'm miserable and if I thought I could change it, I would. But he seems to want nothing to do with me. He seems not to want to budge so I will get to be ok with it over time. Because I have no choice.
So I won't get in touch with him again. Instead I will respect that he needs to not have me around. And walk away. And if he changes his mind I will hope that he will talk to me when he is ready.
It is funny..one day you are free to imagine a person. Imagine their hands and their face and their presence. The way they breathe and they way they sleep and the sound of their laugh. And then the next, you have no right to think about it. No right to wonder or imagine.
Back to bed.
For now, it is my happy safe place where I can curl up under the covers and pretend I'm not sad today.
posted by TF @ 12:50 PM
5 Comments:
Tali, seriously.
your fun to be around.
VERY cute.
intelligent and talented.
WHY would you want to waste your time on a guy that hasnt got HIS shit together.
dude. get out while you still have your wits about you.
yf
pixie
"...got his shit together"????
ro clicks on the canuck : english translation page, inserts phrase, presses ’translate into english’, sits back and reads…
oh, i see what you’re meaning
i know. i’m a complete fool. when someone sends me a ‘goodbye’ email i read it, believe it, turn off my pc and mobile, and go hang with some friends to cheer myself up.
sarcasm aside, perhaps you shouldn’t rush to be so judgemental. you can offer support to your friend without giving a person you don’t know a metaphorical kicking.
but then again, pixies are renown for their mischievous behaviour… :-)
ro. [tweaking the nose of a pixie]
In my head, the only two real questions are
1, did the guy act with honesty, transparency and integrity throughout the entire process.
2, "the flesh is willing, but the spirit is weak" - If he was all of the above, his issue may be that he is over protective. He may shun connecting to others and be afraid to get involved because it may not work out. The fear of failure is paralysing to some people (including yours truly). I myself have not pursued relationships with amazing women because in my head I would be subjecting them to me! Of course this is me projecting here, but what else are blogger comments for?
He sounds like an utter prat. I think we should hunt him down, drag him to Vegas (giving him nothing to wear but a too-tight PVC thong), tie him to the largest speaker during a Celine Dion concert, and draw on his face with a permanent marker. Nasty things. Like bad haiku.
Here weeps the guilty one
String him up by his parts and
Inflict much taunting.
dear rye,
1. it's a weird email thing between two strange people, not a business negotiation. normal rules do not apply.
and anyway, honesty, transparency and integrity have no place in a boy : girl relationship. you've been reading cosmo too much.
i suggest a short subscription to 'hard man's weekly' or somesuch. i can send you mine if you like :-)
2. once you accept that failure is *always* going to be there for you, trying for success becomes fun. sometimes you get a nice surprise tossed in your direction.
manly hugs to one and all,
ro.
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