Right Ro?
I feel like i have a million and one thigns i would like to write about on this blog. It has been a long day and I found it really difficult. But I have the distinct impression (knowledge) that if I start writing about any of this I will, without a doubt, start to cry. And I can't do that right now. I can't do it because I am sitting in my mother's kitchen and no one here seems to realize how upset I am. Because tears will scare my sister and my brother. Because I don't have the words to explain everything that is upsetting me because I only really understand part of it.
I don't want to open up that door right now. I just don't. I'm not alone and I can't let it out the way I want to.
My blogs have been boring of late. I have nothing to say except mindless uninteresting everyday stuff. And now that I have so much to talk about, I can't do it. Guess I am not the skilled blogger I like to pretend I am.
Maybe later, when the kids are sleeping and I'm alone downstairs I can pop on my favorite sad tune and write it all out while my eyes get misty and make it hard to see. But really I don't see the point. Not today.
Maybe tomorrow.
I'm a mess. Ro wrote something sweet on his blog and I started to cry when I read it. AB just called me a good friend and I started to cry when I read it.
No Dawson's Creek and sappy music for me. Just happy thoughts and early to bed to wake up refreshed and ready to take on the world. Backbone of steel, right Ro?
posted by TF @ 7:10 PM
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