Bad Mood Friday
I'm in a bad mood today for reasons unbeknownst to me.
I've been attributing it to being bored. There is this fundamental lack of excitement in my life. I don't know if it is just an age thing or a me thing or what. But i just don't feel happy. But I also don't have a solution with which to fix it.
I know I need to start being more proactive with my life. I'm just so tired all the time.
I don't know.
Just blah.
I would like to go home and just stay in bed for a week or two. That would be lovely.
How does one find excitement? How do you pep up life when it is just all unexciting?
I don't know what to do this weekend. There are parties going on. But I'm no good at parties. Maybe I'm no good with people in general. I feel like I don't know anyone in this city....like I have no core group of friends I can call on when I am feeling low.
I think it is hard to not have routines here or a place to escape. In Montreal I knew there were routines and people I could call at the last minute who would be up for plans and hanging out. And I always knew i could go over to my mom's if i needed just a day of family time. I so don't have that here.
Maybe i'm just tired.
All I wanna do this weekend is go see a movie. But in this city, it is impossible to find someone to just go see a movie with. At least, that is how i feel today.
Ok, you have all spent enough time hanging out at my pity party. I'm sure I'll be find tomorrow and lookin' to delete this boring entry.
Again, blah.
Happy halloween everyone! I wanna see pictures of costumes!
"You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a potbelly and a bald spot." - comedian Elayne Boosler
So sorry
Things have been insane and I just wrote a whole blog entry and it disappeared due to an error! AAACCCCKKK!
I'll write something longer soon. Just wanted you all to know I'm still out here and haven't forgotten this blog business!
"Any woman who can't say a four-letter word sometimes is deceitful." - entertainer Fanny Brice
This is the dude who asked me about the lord and made me smell his pants. Of course, this picture didn't really happen - an excellent example of photoshop work. 
Today
So today I did the untinkable. I brought in my Camilla Scott tape to work. I thought everyonehere would enjoy a laugh at my expense. And they did. And I think it broke the ice a little. Something about being willing to suspend all humility and laughing at yourself makes people like you more. So everyone here is having a good laugh and I'm hiding at my desk, giggling and bright red.
Nothing exciting to report. Went home last night and finished my book - "The Secret History" by Donna Tartt. The book was ok but I didnt' like the end. That is the most unfortunate thing about so many books, the book is good but the end leaves you feeling incomplete and undure about what happened and what you are supposed to think. It is so disappointing.
I need to start some kind of book club website so I can post and have other people post the good books they read so we can all share info and recommendations. Wouldn't that be good? I'm so going to look into that.
I've been bonding with a much music VJ all day. Turns out he went to Selwyn like my brother. SO nice to find MOntrealers in this city..makes it all feel more homey.
I'm getting more and more excited to see everyone this weekend. I'm trying to control it and not get too thrilled, but as the day get closer, I'm closer to going home. I can't wait! :)
Ok,that is it for me. I'm gonna keep on plugging away here.
Good times!
So yesterday I was thrilled to find out that the lovely Paul from Montreal would be staying with me for a night (for those of you on MSN, you are familiar with my MSN picture. I was ticking out my tongue AT Paul in that picture. His presence, is everywhere!). It was very exciting for me to have a guest, especially when I can't live without my taste of Montreal.
I got even better news during the day when my friend from Sony Music called and told me he managed to get his hands on two tickets for the Cake concert. Paul and I were SO excited.
We ran out to the subway, headed downtown. Grabbed some gross chinese fast food and ran over to Massey Hall.
The show started with rap girls Northern State. Paul wasn't so impressed with them but i thought they were pretty good. Paul called them the rap version of the Spice Girls. I would have ot argue with that..they had a flare and a style I could appreciate. Aren't a lot of women (white women) who can rap like that. So I give them kudos. I may buy/listen to the album.
Then Cake took the stage and they were AWESOME! I loved the show. The songs were cool, they played lots of tunes from their first few albums (Sheep Go To Heaven, Frank Sinatra, Comanche, Stickshifts and Safety Belts) and lots from the new album as well (No Phone, Wheels, Carbon Monoxide). They were SO interactive, making us all sing along to No Phone, Sheep to go Heaven, and my favorite part being when they had us all yelling "Shut the Fuck" at them for minutes on end. The crowd was TOTALLY into it and excited. It was so much fun.
Then they left and the crowd went crazy and out they came for the encore, which was also rockin' - and ended with my favorite tune - I Will Survive. We were SO sad when the show ended. They put on an amazing show that made me like Cake so much more then I already did, which was a lot! If you don't know them, check 'em out.
Paul and I then grabbed some street meat, crawled home, watch a bit of my Best of Will Farell DVD and crawled off to bed. It was a lovely night.
Now I am in work mode. So exciting.
How is everyone out there? Tell me some exciting stories!
Ok, so today's entry comes a little late!
Late in the day that is. It's 5pm and I realized I hadn't said a word about my weekend of insanity! We have a big event coming up next week (The Roots live..woohoo!) so I've been laminating passes and organizing event stuff all day. But I'm here and reporting live.
So this past weekend was awesome. Let's start off with Friday.
Friday at noon, my co-worker Chris and I leave work to drive up to Niagara for the EB party we were thorwing - with The Killers! So en route, we have to stop at the kosher store and pick p a kosher meal..very exciting and then had not-so-good pizza in Hamilton. Then we hopped in the car and through torrential rain we drove until arriving on the ouskirts of Niagara Falls. The clouds parted, the angels sang, and I got ready for the tackiest most awesome place in Canada. I was kittery with excitement. Who loves all things cheezy more than me? We got there and it was awesome. An event at Planet Hollywood which looks right out on the falls. Woohoo! Then, the Killers arrived and ridiculousness ensued.
#1) In the elevator with the band, bringing them up to their "green room". The drummer, who is no more than an inch from my face because of the packed elevator says to me: "are you a lady of the lord?". I was shocked and trying not to burst out laughing. So I answer with "um, no.". And he says "well you should be." and I ask why. and he says "because it's all you got....'cause your with the Killers.".
Chhhheeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyy!
#2) Going to pick them up before they perform. In the hotel. Same guy comes up to me and says, just washed my pants. Smell them. And despite me adamantly refusing. He walks over and sticks his knee in my face and gives me no option. Bounce fresh!
#3) I go up to them after the show..all talking about how good the show was. I say to the drummer (the same guy as above)..good performance up there. He looks at me and says "you should see me in the sack. I immediately, make some excuse and RUN!
#4) (and final) After talking about how you should not wear a Roots t-shirt in Australia because to root someone means to have sex with them. Dude turns to me and says: I wanna root you. Once again, I make some excuse, turn, and run.
It was all so funny.
Then I went up to my room and Cindy and I hung out with Aaron and Stu (some of the guys we work with) and had a hilarious night of hanging out and laughing and taking stupid pictures of ourselves. It was hilarious.
Saturday was lovely, C inday and I woke up late. Then walked around a bit in Niagara, looked at the falls (it was raining so we just looked through the car windows) and then went outlet shopping where i bought a coat I feel in love with (although I shouldn't have spent the money) all in all, a great day.
When I got home, I had about an hour to relax before heading out to dinner with an old friend Johanna. We went to a great restuarant called Swan that I thouroughly enjoyed. Mmmmm..yummy!
From there, Johanna and I headed off to Mitch's party wherei got to watch Johanna work the room. The boys loved her. Then I crawled home and wanted to pass out.
But, I was up bright and early the next morning to have brunch with the lovely Jen Samuel, do a little more shopping (LOVE WINNERS) and then headed out to meet Cameron to see Team America. Now that movie is funny. What is it about puppet sex that is SO hilarious. Problem is, as usual, I heard too much about it before going in and it set my expectations WAY too high. But i still enjoyed it and can see why people fund it so funny. After that, Cam and I headed out ot Licks..my fave burger joint for yummy burgers.mmmm.
That was it. That was my exciting weekend. It was really good.
Now here I am this week..workin 'away. Getting ready for a weekend in Montreal (I'm so excited) and then for next week's big event! I can't wait.
Tonight, I am off to the library and then the grocery store and home to RELAX!
The end!
Friday..lovely Friday
Good morning!
So it is still yucky and grey out...and getting out of bed - was near impossible but here I am sitting at my desk and plugging away. So tonight I am off to Niagara Falls for a night for a work event. Woohoo! I'm so excited. I havent' been to Niagara Falls since i was..I don't know..12 (Mom..when was that?). I'm going for a work event and it should be lots of fun. I'm totally looking forward to it.
As for comments on my blog, I've decided to allow anyone to leave comments so no more worries about being a registered user. So there ya go, no more complaining about having to register! ;)
That's it for me. I'm only here for 3 hours today. Have some work to do here and then off on my trip. I can't wait!
As for this weekend, I am coming back tomorrow after a night of fun and then some outlet shopping with the lovely Cindy, Then I am heading out to dinner with an old friend - Johanna Faigelman - who is an old high school friend (Jen W. - are you sure you dont' want to come to Toronto and join us for dinner?) and the nI am spending Sunday seeing "Team America: World Police". People keep saying it's good. But I'm pretty sure I'll hate it. I would have liked it more if they had left the puppet sex scene in. Who isn't amused by puppet sex? And then having dinner with Cameron and maybe Kyle if he wants to come out.
Not so exciting..but busy.
Now I am off to make some calls for Cindy and keep busy until I leave. Woohoo!
Hope everyone has a great weekend. Here is the quote for the day:
"If you're short-legged, very short skirts won't make you look long legged, just cold." - humorist Pam Bracken.
Wordless
It is SO grey here. It is making me want to take a long, long nap. How sad is that?
I'm very excited because I think I will be visiting the library today. YAY! I have some books on hold that I want to pick up. I actually wanted to bring my book back too..but that all depends on when I leave work.
I'm tired. I'm looking forward to just going home and curling up on my couch and watching smutty TV while reading my book.
YAY!
I'm wordless today.
Register
I've made it so that people have to register to leave a comment. I'm tired of people leaving anonymous comments and then I wonder who it is who has something to say. So, register away! :)
Comment if you have something constructive to say.
Wow..I don't know who wrote that last anonymous comment....but it wasn't very nice. If you are "man" enough to make a comment, at least be honest enough to include your name. Not nice to be so condescending on someone else's blog and then not be brave enough to admit who you are.
If you don't like what I write or who I am...you don't have to be reading the blog.
Wednesday already? How awesome.
Yet another anonymous comment on my blog. I have nothing interesting today.
It's 9:34 and already today is annoying.
Ok, so I just had a little tiff wit ha friend of mine. This girl met a guy, years ago, and the minute she did became the MOST undependale friend ever. She never showed up and always said she would .And the one time she didm, he called every 5 minutes until she left. She is unreliable, makes excuses for it, and blames everyone else. I hate that. So after years of holding on to this friendship for reasons unbeknownst to me, we finally had it out and I told heri n the most brutal, honest fashion what I think of that behavior.
Chances are she won't like it and chances are, this is the end of the road for us.
On a certain level I feel bad for being so blunt. On the other hand, I'm annoyed that I felt like i couldn't handle the bull with her anymore.
So at what point are you realy honest with people? I waited until the straw broke that came's back and snapped, so will she take the things i said seriosly? They are said out of anger but they are the things i wasn't bold or brave enough to say to her face. But if I had said them at a moment where no one was angry, would she have listened to it then either?
I have no idea.
My biggest issue is that I have a hard time getting mad. Thigns bother me and I don't say anything or don't say things properly until I am pushed to the brink. And then when I do express how angry I am, I feel guilty and bad. Despite the fact that this girl hurt my feelings and lied ot me, I feel guilty for calling her on it. Ridiculous how that happens.
Lesson is, there is no easy way to deal with people. No winning solution. No perfect way to handle it. People hear and see what they want to. I guess I'm as bad as anyone else in that. And people don't want to hear bad things.
I wouldn't want to hear bad things either.
I don't know. Maybe I'm babbling for no good reason.
It is cold in my office!
"I like the concept of "men". It's the reality I have problems with." - cartoonist Stephanie Piro, in her cartoon Fair Game.
Doubts
I'd be lying if I said I never had a moment where I doubt my life choices. Of late, I find I doubt them pretty often. This move...this job...this career path as a whole. The industry I work in is often about men. That makes it really hard when you are not a man to be successful. Men are threatened by a woman with a brain or an opinion or a better success rate. It is really unfortunate. And if you are sensitive at all...or if you take thesse things personally, it is hard not to get hurt. Since I left my last job, I've heard of all sorts of bad behavior on the part of people I used to work with. It doesn't impress me. A lot of trash talking and then not accepting responsibility for it. People are not brave enough to just come out and address their issues. And, like you may have read in an earlier blog, these people take for granted that it won't get back to the person you are talking about. I find it so frustrating and insulting.
Moments like that, when I hear about people acting that way - that is when I feel like moving on to something different and new. Granted, every industry must have some of that, but sometimes i would just like a clean page. A fresh start. Something totally new where i don't have to deal with people's stupid egos.
Lesson learned for me too though .Trust no one. People are you friend, in business, as long as they need you. after which you become disposable.
Long weekend was great. Lots of rest. Great thanksgiving dinner (thanks again Jen and Mark) and hanging out with friends.
Where would I be without good people to spend time with here?
Today, I feel frustrated.
"Revenge is sweet. Sweeter than tiramisu." - writer Kathy Lette
Anonymous
I repeat, if you are going to leave me an anonymous blog comment - leave your name. I thank whoever posted the marineland song. Good times.
"Everyone loves Marineland"
I had a funny quote on my Tough Dames calendar (Steph, that calendar provides hours of entertainment):
"I rely on my personality for birth control" - writer Liz Winston
DingleB Friday!
Ok, I need to start to day off with a message for someone special out there - and you know who you are - and that message is simply this. The dingleberry - SUCKS! What is more annoying than "the dingleberry"? I thank you JA for finding the appropriate term for that situation, clinger was clearly not doing the job. Dingleberry it is. Annoying.
Ok, enough of that.
SO last night I went out with Duane - who I love. He rocks. We went to see the Low Millions (Adam Cohen's, son of Leonard Cohen, band). They were ok. There were a couple of songs that had me bouncing a bit and then there were more songs that did not. But it had potential. Nice to see a Montrealer do some good.
After that I stopped by to say to my friend Matt - the great man of confusion and mixed messages. That was it. I went home and had a nice long conversation with Steph and then an even longer one with Ms.Jen W. who I miss lots and can't wait to see in November!
Now it is Friday...yay! And tonight is sushi on Bloor with Mitch. I'm so excited. Great food and awesome company!
Who couldn't love that?
Anyone wanna come to Toronto for the weekend? :)
Almost there!
It is Thursday - almost the weekend. WOOHOO!
FOr some reason, I woke up feeling so tired today. I wouldn't pull myself out of bed. Eventually I had to - but it was no easy task.
I went to see Friday Night Lights this weekend. It was not impressive. I didn't love the story and I didnt' love the movie. But I did love the excitement of the actual game scenes. This is what I realized when watching it - if we knew the stories about the players in football we, being women who aren't always so into sports but can appreciate the excitement, would probably be more into the whole thing. It's like wrestling - create the background in the characters, a story, and people will watch. I mean sports (ok, some sports) are exciting to watch! We need more draw.
That is my official assessment of the way things should be.
Other than that, I have nothing interesting to tell anyone. I'm at work. Meeting with the PR agency today. I have to figure out what I want to talk to them about. Oh the excitement.
Now I am off to work. I am boring today.
Blah
That is so how I feel right now.
Just blah.
I'm re-evaluating so many aspects of my life - it is a full blown roller coaster. I'm not enjoying it. I guess this is part of the moving process but I can say it doesn't make me feel good. I don't know.
I was thinking this morning - don't ask me why this popped into my head - about a weird moment when I was a kid. I don't have many strong memories from way back when and the ones I do are fleeting. But I remember this moment of self-realization. I remember looking at life from what felt like a distance. Like I was on the outside looking in. I remember realizing that I wasn't on the outside looking in but was actually part of what was going on. It was so weird. It was like in the movies, when someone dies and then you see them floating up..and then there is this viscous pull back into their body as they are revived. I remember it kinda like that. And it was at that moment that I felt this rush of happy and sad - realized that I was going to get old and die one day and that bad things did happen to me and at the same time, all the good things would happen to me. I know I know, I'm weird. I wonder if all kid have that moment of realization or if we just quietly accept these things.
I'm finding Toronto to be a weird city to live in now. For all the people I know here, I still feel strangely isolated and cut off. I feel like I am a little back in that place where I am watching life go by but from the outside. Like i don't feel at all part of what is happening.
This is not my usual happy upbeat message..is it? Did I depress all of you?
This is the other realization I had. A blog is a weird space. Despite it being sort of a journal, there is a lot I can't say here. A lot of things I have to keep hidden or secret because as private as it is here, it is totally public. SO, I need to have a private blog to go along with my blog. But then I wonder, what is the point of a blog if no one is going to read it.
I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.
And now, I am at work. So I should go do some work and quit sitting here moping.
I'm going to see Friday Night Lights tonight. What is better than a sports movie to pick me up?
I am the queen of the typo. Why does this thing now have spell check? (she says as she discovers that it does).
Happy hump day!
I know what you said!
This is the thing i don't understand, people gossip. Fine, I do it too. But don't people realize that everything they say gets back to you? I mean, really.
Personally, I don't say anything that I am afraid will get back to people. And if it does get back to them - if i have said it - chances are I don't care. But what is more annoying is when people try and be all buddy buddy. Sometimes I wonder if they honestly think you don't know what they have said.
Here is a lesson for all of you - everything you say gets back to the person you say it about. If you haven't learned that by now, take heed. Because it happens.
Anyhow, that is my rant for the day. Nothing exciting to report. I stayed at work wiht Cindy until 10 last night. I love that girl. She just rocks. Then she took me home (did i mention I love her) and watched my favorite show (ok, one of the million) - CSI. After that, I crawled into bed and read my book. I swear i read for like an hour. I reach a point where i know I should turn off the light and sleep, but i just can't do it. I just want to read, read, and read some more.
Today I am going to check out the Toronto Metropolitain Hotel for work:
http://www.metropolitan.ca/
It is pretty nice - seemingly. I'll let you know how it is afterwards.
*sigh*. I have nothing interesting to report. I am boring.
Did I mention my favorite thing to do is to wake up and drink my tea (thank you to mom for getting me hooked on green tea) and watch Dick Van Dyke before i leave for work. It is AWESOME! I love Ontario TV.
Ok. I have to go look at hot chicks. It is a tough life I lead.
Have agood day! :)
Monday Monday
How fast do weekend fly by? Before i even have a chance to doall the things I want to do, it is Monday and I am off to work.
My weekend was nice nad relaxing. Friday night I did something so exciting I'm almost afraid to mention it online and make you all jealous - I joined...THE LIBRARY! You heard it ladies and gentleman...I did it. Took the plunge and joined up.
It was great. I spent a solid hour meandering around looking for books and am now on a steady reading diet. I love it. Honestly, I just love reading. It takes me away to that special place that makes me forget everything else back here in Toronto. A total distraction. Nothing but imagination. Ok ok, Iadmitedly I sound goofy. But I just love it all that much. I often wish I was the kind of person who could write. I have to admire people who can. I just don't have the patience. I lose my train of thought, get bored with my own story. I just can't do it. I have to say, authors are an impressive bunch.
So Friday was library night. Saturday was read an entire book in onw day and sit around relaxing ( read "The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman - great kids book. The first part of a trilogy, so I look forward to getting my hands on the next one). Then I was off to a Thanksgiving dinner. It was unbelievable - 37 people in a not-so-huge apartment. I was the only person (or so it seemed) who was there dateless. It was a weird feeling. But it was great food and everyone was more than friendly. It was nice. Amy (who was also there with Noah) and I started thinking about how many people we would get in a room if it was us and let me tell you..there would not be almost 40 people at my Thanksgiving dinner!
Sunday I got to spend with Jen and Amy. A girls day. It was great (with the exception of being SO hungry for dinner I thought i was going to pass out!). We went to see Motorcycle Diaries. A really interesting movie about Che Guevara. I would recommend it to anyone, just do some research before you go in because you will probably appreciate the storyline more if you do. And the star of that movie - Gael Garcia Bernal - HOT! So hot. You just gotta love him.
Now, it is Monday and I am at work. I had to go check out a hotel this morning. It was good times. The Park Hyatt is a really nice hotel wti han AWESOME spa. I may just have to check it out one day. Anyone up for a slighly more expensive yet fancy shmancy manicure or pedicure?
That is it. Nothing exciting to report. I got to check out some hot women for work today. Now I am sitting at my desk.
Oh, the excitement.
What can I say? It's Monday! ;)
Must go work work and work.
I'll leave you with a quote from my tough dames calendar:
"Only the untalented can afford to be humble: - actress Sylvia Miles
It's the WEEKEND!
So it is finally Friday. YAY!
Surprisingly enough, I feel MUCH better today.I guess a couple of nights of R&R did me good. I definitely need to have a quiet evening at home tonight..and probably tomorrow...just so I am completely back to my normal healthy stuff.
Not much to say. I went home last night. Picked up some groceries. Crawled onto my couch and stayed there until the end of Nip/Tuck
Have I mentioned how much I LOVE that show! I just can't get enough. It's just so scandalous.
I think tonight may be a rental night. I haven't rented a movie in AGES. It is about time I got caught up on my movie watching.
I am now in second place on my survivor pool...so depressing. From 1st to 2nd in a matter of days. OH THE HORROR!I will not give up.
Ok, this is all I ask of you guys, if you leave a comment here, make sure you put in your name. I got an anonymours comment and have no idea who it's from (so if it was you..let me know!)
Alright, I need to go let hotels suck up to me while i book my event. I'll check in again later.
Fun fun fun!
